#HAHA WAIF

[izz6334]

[cuntyko]

happy chinese new year

[eightfoldblessings]

Crack Crack CRACK based off that tag for Nero but “Are you cheating on mommy?” Violet knew she killed mommy Rose in childbirth but still

☀ : Wait huh. "What makes you think that, little one?"

@naive-petals

[smile-files]

(forgive me, but i felt the need to write a poem! i think magic and daisy bell helped worrywart and sunshine lollipop write this together!!)

many people must know this by now. they must have realized that i am still just a little child; a little child who, like all little children, cares too much about everything - who loves the world too much, who wants to live too much - and oh god, do i want to live! and that little child - me, that little child - oh, how scared i am! how scared i am, knowing how small i am, how vulnerable, how weak - for every flashlight in the night can do naught but stare infinitely into the darkness wondering if its bulb will too go out… and oh, do i want to be alight! oh, do i want to be alive! i am crying with the joy of living and the fear of living no longer - please, may somebody wipe my tears? for every fear is the fear of death in the end… i once thought i was too nervous to live - thinking my shaky hands could not hold myself together long enough to survive - and oh! there are so many things to be afraid of! for little children see all of the monsters under the bed and in the closet, even if they do not want to - and they do not want to - little children cannot help having nightmares! the happiest babes of summer morn are still trembling waifs in their hearts. in the day they will dream, and at night they will cry - they fear being chased and getting lost and being left behind; even without knowing death by name, every little child fears it. perhaps that is part of what makes us alive… no, in the end i am not afraid of living. if anything, i am afraid of the fact that being alive leads to death - for without life, there is no death. if i were never alive, i would never need to fear it (nor would i be able to). would i rather be a rock? or the sun? or the sky? they are all beautiful! oh, how i love them! but if i were any one of them, i am afraid i would not even have the capacity to love at all. to love is to live! and who lives more than the freshly weaned youth, afraid of the awesome world before them? crying with the joy of living and the fear of living no longer? oh, to be a little child forever! oh, to never die! but alas, to forget death is to forget youth; only grown-ups can love life so little to not care about leaving it, not even wanting to say goodbye… and a little child cares more about everything than everyone! so in the end, in the way that children do, i want to be happy, and i want to be free of pain, so i don't want to fear death. i don't want to fear much at all. but with these shaky hands and this curled-up heart i am afraid that i will be afraid that i will be afraid that i will be afraid forever. oh, forever! how i long for forever! how every little child, in their joys, in their cares and worries and wishes, how every child longs for forever! my worry is my care! it is my love! it will be forever! and how i long to be protected, to be loved, to be safe! how i long for the good of the world! the good of those around me! how i long for better things! it is forever! i do not want to die - i'm too scared to ever want to die! because i am too full of life! and if this sharp planet ever pierces my heart there will be no blood staining the ground beneath me. no, it will be life! it will be life spilling out from my chest where that trembling waif was hiding… and that life will fill the plants and the animals around me and i will die filling the world with as much life, as much care, as much worry, as much love, as much light as my curled-up heart could contain. and oh, the world is dark… and i have been afraid of the dark… no, i will never choose to die! but when it happens i would've been happy if i were still alive to see it - for every flower needs a sun! every body is a star, slowly dying! we are glowing here and now, and when we're gone we will be beautiful! our impact will be forever, its light from years ago fading as if we were still there! the world can never forget life! yes, i will die - and yet i will be a little child forever. please hold my hand and tell me, oh, please tell me, that i don't have to face this forever all alone.

[moonikuko]

I love the fact that even when you were a skinny waif in that red dress…you were still hiding a nice squishy tummy.

Haha I was about 8 months post partum there. Mom bods are elite 😇

[littlefeltsparrow]

Please save me from the hell on earth that is ACOTAR Tik Tok. What even is this.

And just when I thought: “surely there can’t be that many people who agree with Rhysand’s decision to keep that secret from Feyre. SURELY most people would be sensible enough to see how egregiously violating that is. Obviously there wouldn’t be too many people who agree with his line of thinking haha that would be crazy.”

These people prove me wrong every single time.

They go on to say that Feyre “wouldn’t be able to make a choice” and doesn’t that just say it all? Isn’t that the perfect demonstration of the way these people will overlook ANYTHING when it comes to justifying their pseudo-morally-grey king? It all boils down to people discussing Feyre like she’s a weak little waif who will blow away with the breeze, like she can’t possibly contribute to solving a crisis like this. NO! According to these people, since Feyre is too mentally fragile to handle matters concerning her own body, she needs her big strong husband to make medical decisions for her. HE gets to decide what’s best for her. (Hm I wonder where I’ve heard that before?)

Tell me, why wouldn’t Feyre be able to help with resolving this situation? Her powers couldn’t help her? She wouldn’t take a risk to save her child and husband’s life? Don’t tell me that Feyre would’ve been too feeble and weak to handle the information just because she’s pregnant, there were definitely other options for resolving this issue.

And don’t even try me with the “Nesta was so spiteful! She only wanted to hurt her sister!” Nonsense because I’ve heard it all. Let’s not try to shift the blame onto the one that actually had the courage to speak up and get the situation moving instead of Rhysand who violated Feyre’s trust in him (after he promised her he wouldn’t do that) Perhaps these people should consider that maybe if Rhysand hadn’t been so paranoid and myopic about everything then maybe this pregnancy wouldn’t have risked causing a political catastrophe in the Night Court.

[legallybrunettedotcom]

ooh!! pardon the long-ish ask but i wanted to say, the movie that popped into my head that i thought many of you, as in Film Watchers i know from tumblr<3 would like/would love to be devastated by is árvácska (nobody's daughter) 1976. which is an adaptation of a novel by one of our most famous writers, móricz zsigmond. in 1936, he found a 20 year old woman when she was about to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, he took her in, the novel is based on her life before. so it's about a waif, and about the cruelty small children would face in 1920s hungary as part of the legal adoption system (after every adopted child, families would get some money and some clothes every year, and nothing was protecting the orphaned or abandoned or stray children's rights, so they'd essentially be slaves in these rural areas). rough watch, i mean i can warn for triggers if anyone is interested and needs it haha but yeah i carry it around with me.. móricz said "even the absolute smallest sentence of it arose from raw life itself, as sulphurous fumes from a swamp"

oh there's a hungarian cultural society here that carries his name ! ty for the rec, this sounds very intriguing and devastating.

[brookie1baby]

my name is brooklyn, i'm a 15 year old christian girl from america, west virginia n dms open to anybody!!

i have no specific reason for this page, can range from selfies to my interests to an aesthetic page but i guess it's mainly that haha

i'm into ballet, currently taking ballet/tap/jazz classes! i also love classical old books, like mary shelley and george orwell.

vintage americana, farmers daughter, waif❤️❤️

i’m a centrist generally but was for trump. i dont mind people of other political beliefs but don’t message me if you cannot handle difference of opinion without throwing around hateful terms and this goes for both parties. no i am not up for debate here, this is an account purely for fun, but i felt the need to get this out of the way. disagreement does not equal hatred or phobia.

[tsururoach]

EXCUSE ME I RECENTLY DISCOVERED VOCALOIDS AND IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE WITH OLIVER /p

thank you for blessing us with ur Oliver art <3 he needs more love fr. and more happy songs.

i just got here so im not sure if you've mentioned it before, but do you have a fav Oliver song? :3

I'm glad you like my art of him! I've been drawing him for 9-ish years now, but it's always nice to hear other fans of his also like my art! I don't actually talk to a lot of Oliver fans haha.

I always really really admired Dappleback/Lawlietlk's designing skill, and I had a whole presentation how much I appreciated his character design and how it lead back into why I think as a vocaloid he has one of the best designs.

Like don't get me wrong, Vocaloid (and other synths) have really good designs, just sometimes they aren't necessarily as good as Vocaloid designs y'know?

Like hear me out, I feel like the biggest appeal of vocaloid mascots is this: They can be whatever you want. Now on one hand you can argue that 'no mascot' is even Moreso freedom and should have worked better than mascot, but what's missing is the intrigue. There is a breeding ground of creativity hidden beneath restriction.

Like, often enough what people need most in order to create something is just a guideline, and for me that's what Oliver offers. Like, sometimes, too much canon is a bad thing, and people need to remember that.

The #1 selling point of Oliver's design is the intrigue his design offers. There's so much of it that once changed loses that 'space of expression.' And yet, no matter how much you are able to change, he also is able to maintain that 'constant' that lets you know that yes, that is still him, even if you change it. I don't have it anymore but it's been years, but I had a whole chart explaining it.

Over the years Oliver has gotten a lot of motifs and concepts assigned to him, that only derive from smaller aspects of his designs, for example: His bandages.

While you may argue it's not entirely unique, that is exactly the beauty of it. It's because of that so many different concepts stem from it.

One of the biggest themes correlated with Oliver is a monster/horror theme and you have the bandages to thank for it. The amount of concepts I've seen born from the sheer mystery of his bandages were so vast it's crazy. Whether it's because he's a cryptid/monster/cursed or otherwise, people are forced to make an effort to use that "why?"

And on the flip side, there is other mysteries people find from his bandages that aren't horror, they're instead going for something else: A poor waif, a vigilante, a witch, and etc. Through the simple [why], Oliver becomes limitless.

And while we're still discussing his bandages, there is elsewhere you can find beauty in his design. I know a lot of his fans are or were children when they became fans of him, and I know for a fact that some of them related to his design. It's not like he had much to go against them in thinking that-- and it's not just because of his song. For me as a child I projected onto him as a (character) as someone I could relate to. That's uh, probably why a lot of people tend to use him for horror or darker stuff. I know that some people are... unsavory, but that's why I don't really like when people hate on horror content made from him. I know a lot of people are weird about him, but it's a form of self-expression all the same.

Even aside from his bandages, his design still manages to offer intrigue. While Miku allows herself to be a blank canvas (being a mascot with very little ties, a digital idol who represents exactly that) Oliver is more like... a puzzle? Except there is no wrong answer and every time you put it together, it's always different.

There was a lot of misconceptions around his design, but Oliver was based off choirboy outfits-- not that everyone knew that. A lot of people interpreted it as a sailor outfit with nautical themes. That's why you can often see Oliver with sea-themed artworks or songs and/or if it's still around, sea-side waif depictions of him. But on the other side, there were quite a few interpretations of Oliver as a time-traveler- a noble- or hell: a literal bird boy.

Had he been given a more generic design, a more modern one, a more idol-esque version of himself, most of these interpretations of him would not exist. There would be less incentive for people to create that answer without the "why."

I don't really have a proper ranking on a more 'objective' ranking of designs as vocaloid specific mascot designs, but I feel like it's somewhat similar to... actual popularity?

Like... If i had to separate them, there's three categories in a venn diagram: Just straight up Good design (though I'd argue a lot of the other two would still fit in here), Fill-in the blank design, and blank canvas design.

I would say the OG Miku fits in all 3 categories but has been erring into just good design or her own category: too engrained into pop culture to fail.

Fukase is a good example of a Fill-in design, because he also has the classic "why" to his design. (Why is his coat like that? why does he have scars? is he human? is he a robot? Is he circus themed? Who knows?) You can see a lot of exploration of his character through that.

Vflower I feel like is primarily in the blank canvas design, because she more-so encompasses a certain fashion style and is able to attract the blank canvas of gender expression as well.

At the moment, to be honest, I can't really think of someone who only fit's in the straight up good character design but doesn't offer any mystery or fluidity, but that might just be my personality.

To be entirely clear, this venn diagram is probably closer to just a single circle instead of 3, but I'm mostly talking about which part of their design they align most with. (and the most common consensus of how to interpret them.

To be honest this is probably why I feel a bit like a Fake Oliver fan, bc I care more about his design more than his voicebank itself. (Sweats as I look at the vocaloid editor on my computer)

Man. Favorite Oliver song is tough.

Favorite Usage

I'll only be mentioning the publicly released songs using him, since it's a bit unfair if I recommend you something you either have no access to or I'm unable to find again.

To be honest I'm not a huge fan of some of Oliver's most known producers, mostly because I know they're not great people and refuse to support them. It's none of my business if you still listen to them, but I'd rather not. But, It's nice going down my old masterlist of Oliver originals.

I really like Rawbeans-P, if you ever heard her usage of Oliver, it's crazy stunning. Probably some of the best usage of him you'll ever hear.

Cat in a raincloud I know is relatively popular among my friends that I've pushed Robyn's music onto.

I feel like high up there is also Corasundae, who is honestly has a pretty refreshing (?) song-making style. I'm really not a music guy- meaning I never learnt a lot of terms properly and can't describe a lot of things to you, but I really like the general sound that corasundae uses in her works.

I think T.V.V.S is a pretty iconic song, but I'm emotionally attached to Other Side.

One of the songs I see people rarely talking about is Requiescat in Pace- I get it's probably because it's an older song, but I've always liked how it sounded and was a staple for me as a kid (and still fairly fresh into Vocaloid.) I don't think PARADIGM really released much else, but this song is sooo cool, I think about it a lot!

I'm not sure if you don't like horror, or just disappointed that it's a majority of his songs, but I don't think it's leaning too much into horror? It's really good though!

Another one of my favorite Vocaloid producers (the one I bought a keychain from as well!) is Veran Kuriensu! I found them originally from their original Lay, and it's possibly still one of my favorite Vocaloid Oliver Originals still to this day. While it's my favorite, I do know that they've improved drastically and their other works with Oliver is crazy good, but Lay has a special spot to me and makes me feel especially Nostalgic.

I've always liked how the lyrics sounded as well. I think otherwise my second favorite song from them is 星をあつめに. It's really good I Promise. Please please do give their stuff a chance!!

I feel like another producer I'd recommend for similar reasons to Rawbeans-P is Baggagelizard. He's always forever been kind of a legend to me! He's a super cool guy, and he has really good usage of Oliver's voicebank as well. One of my favorite songs he's done is Song for the forgotten, which was even my Oliver Collab piece back in like... 2016? That's honestly a bit crazy to me seeing how long it's been.

Baggagelizard tends to have such a special sound to the music he makes, I think it's kind of... a morose wistfulness? If you're into this one, I genuinely hope you check out his other works as well!

Actually I'm adding this one, because I really like the atmosphere of it! It's called Tavern and it's a really fun song using Big Al, Oliver, and Kaito and I think it's such a fun song! Apparently other Oliver fans I've recommended it said it wasn't their cup of tea though (′д｀σ)σ.

OH and how could I forget: Childhood Bye-Bye is honestly borderline a classic for me! I think it's a really iconic song, but it always surprises me that it's not as popular as I think it is. The producers other works are also really good!

Oooh, another Producer I can recommend is Compasscat! They use Uni, SeeU, and sometimes Oliver (maybe other vocaloids but I'm actually writing this in class (lol). You should try checking them out! I think I enjoyed it but I've been told the things I like are... different from how other people like things.

Actually, on the thought of not-so dark songs using Oliver, I hardly see any Oliver fans (or Yohioloid) fans talking about Yellow Card. I hadn't listened to it for years, but I still think it's pretty fun to this day, you could try checking it out if you feel like it. While we're at it, I'll add a bunch of special mentions for songs I knew were fairly liked enough when I was deeper into vocaloid but never see people talk about anymore as well. To be honest, I'd have a lot more to add to this list, but a lot of Oliver Originals I really liked are deleted or missing.... I understand it's at the producer's own discretion, but it's a little sad.

Unfortunately, A lot of the Bilibili/Niconico songs that I really liked were deleted or really really hard to access/find, but I'll reblog if I find them again.

[badass-at-fandoming]

Do you have any headcanons for Beckett? Specifically about his life as a mortal? It sucks that we know so little about his past, other than the fact that Beckett "wasn't the name he was born with," and that he was embraced in the early 1700s in England. I find it strange that we know so little about him despite the fact he's practically a mascot for VTM.

Hi Nonny! I'm so used that World of Darkness' lacuna that it doesn't seem strange to me anymore, but it is quite a cold-water shock, huh? The game designers leave blanks on purpose so we can fill them in. I remember this one interview with Justin Achilli where the interviewer said the Book of Nod was (forcibly) published in 1993 (same as irl). He corrected her and said, "No, no, you have to say it was published in the early 1990s, so any Storyteller can fit it into their '90s chronicle, like if they want to do an adventure to prevent or pursue its publication." His answer stuck with me. As a fan I was like "...why does it matter, let us have this fixed date" but as a writer/baby game dev I was like "OH, that is CLEVER." It leaves room for creativity! Any adventure can follow the meta-canon! That's such a good game design trick! As a fan I find it frustrating!

This game design principle sticks even to the mascot. I've seen stuff that Beckett was a pirate, a privateer, an Oxford scholar, and/or an attractive dying waif. @chinesegal was kind enough to ask me various Beckett backstory questions, that you can find here: bathing practice, opinions on creationism, trans experience. I'd also point you to @vampire-the-askerade for their delightful Beckett writings.

My only like, firm headcanon for Beckett is that he has to be kind enough to warn the fledgling in VtMB. If someone's interpretation of his character doesn't allow for that, my interest tanks. I'm not even totally married to the backstory in my fanfic and idle-thoughts-before-falling-asleep scenario. Those were all convenient pretexts for me to write cuddles and snuggles, haha. I'd love more kudos and comments on my fanfic if you read those stories, but below the cut is the bullet point version.

A Kinder Universe series drops hints of a possible backstory, especially "A Monastery Hides More Than Bones," "It Pleased the Lord," and "Forbidden by God and King."

Birth name is Matthew Lowell.

"Matthew" after the Christian Apostle. The Matthew of the Catholic Bible was a tax collector and therefore a pariah in society (just like Beckett is kinda like an outsider to Kindred Society). He was called to join Jesus out of a crowd (like Aristotle called Beckett out of the wild, or how Caine singles out Beckett during Gehenna). After Jesus's Ascension, Matthew wrote a Gospel, which translates to "good news," and spread it around, (like Beckett spreads his theories like "Good news, everyone! Gehenna is fake!). Matthew's Gospel is focused on how Jesus fulfills Hebrew prophecy and begins with a long genealogy connecting Jesus to King David (Beckett is obsessed with the genealogy of the Kindred race and studies/fulfills/collects prophecies).

"Lowell" is the Anglicized surname of Norman French "lou," which translates to "wolf." Beckett's dark brown, straight hair and white skin is a common coloring with French people. We don't know his original eye color, but blue would clinch the deal. There's a long history of migration between France and England, both of people and culture. It's in the realm of possibility he's of French descent, at least partially.

Born in Oxford. One of many siblings. Mother died in childbirth. Kid during the Great Plague of London in 1665-1666. Good father.

Attended one of the Oxford universities and got his doctorate in some sort of proto-anthropology.

I think I've talked about it before, but I have an Embrace fic idea an Embrace scenario I've thought about real hard before falling asleep.

Beckett has the same tombstone data as above. He teaches at his Oxford university, but is not very popular among his department peers. He's too into evidence and the scientific method, and he's constantly quarreling with his colleagues.

Aristotle and Anatole visit Oxford to set up a satellite library. Possibly they needed a break from Paris for some Kindred political reason.

Kindred brothel owner owes them a favor and lets them stay in the brothel while the duo sets up the library haven

Beckett visits this same brothel to let off steam, and he's gifted to Anatole as a blood doll for the night. Except Beckett is like, "Can I rant to you about how stupid my colleagues are?" and this leads to a genuine discussion of scholarship and, later, friendship

Beckett becomes Anatole's regular client, and Anatole proposes to Aristotle that Aristotle Embraces Beckett

Aristotle approaches the Prince of Oxford and something something Kindred politics and Cassandra Darby kill steals Beckett and dumps him in the forest

The two Noddists learn that Beckett has been Embraced, and they try to find him. Anatole is so distraught that he is Not Helping the search at all, so Aristotle sends him back to Paris. Aristotle keeps up the search and eventually finds and adopts a feral Beckett baby

Aristotle and Beckett rejoin Anatole in Paris. Anatole has regained his equilibrium and takes over Beckett's Kindred education.

Yeah! I hope that answered your question, Nonny. Thank you for the ask!

[hypermania]

https://www.tumblr.com/pynkhues/762377746131435520/that-fic-snippet-with-the-belt-love-reminded-me?source=share

I was wondering about this funhouse mirror description of Sam (and others?)--I instinctively like it but I was wondering if you could explain it? :)

haha yeah i think you basically got it! it's just kind of like you can't trust that what you're perceiving is accurate. for example: i think if you're just watching the show casually and not analyzing it and dissecting scenes/visuals, you come away thinking lestat is a fairly large guy (tall and broad) but in reality sam isn't particularly tall and he's got that teensy little waist lol. there's just this illusion that he's much larger than he actually is. and i think the reverse is true for armand. he looks like a little waif but then he takes off his shirt and you're like holy tits batman. assad is stacked (and definitely taller than both sam and jacob). and jacob is just a shapeshifter because louis never looks the same size to me. they're all like these distorted images of themselves somehow lol

[blackkatmagic]

rofl re the clones height...if they were taller than obi-wan oh MAN the lording over him. too cute. yes yes mr general sir, would you like a stool? a box? haha

I honestly hate that dynamic. Like, no judgment if you like it, but I've seen way too many fics that turn Obi-Wan into a tiny delicate feminine waif juxtaposed with massive manly exceedingly horny clones, and I find that particular setup super sketchy, given the racial undertones. Sorry, but it's really not my thing.

[cuntyko]

uh yea?,, that’s my name don’t wear it out

[al-the-remix]

Years pass but people still remain gross about WAGs. And now they dress it up with “intellectual” terms like industrial complex and post-colonial supremacist whatchamacallit. Give me the messy puck bunny blogs at least they’re open about hating WAGs.

Yeah, I can't say I have many complex things to say on the topic, except that that dialogue has been in this fandom forever (all fandoms forever; tumblr, the birthplace of the 'not-like-other-girls-girl') but it's especially bad in rpf and I'm exhausted of reading the same tired iterations on "well, I could NEVER understand how another woman could live like that--" STOP. Just stop it, it's not your life, and it's likely never going to be your life, for all the aforementioned unfair reasons. You don't have to compare yourselves to them constantly. It doesn't make you lesser or them better for being (presumably) born into a more privileged circumstance and it doesn't make them lesser and you better for achieving some enlightened pearl of knowledge.

The puck bunny blogs irk me just as much, and if you find one better than the other I guess it's more a question of what rolls your stomach more: spite or smugness. But in my opinion, calling Kathy an ageing escort that Sid pitty dates is just as nauseating as talking down your nose about her like she's some ignorant waif that cant make her own decisions about her life or her relationship.

Yes, the NHL is an intrinsically racist, misogynistic, homophobic, capitalist, fatphobic--and all the other bad terrible things--nightmare creature whose ailment runs all the way up to the giant sucking malignancy attached to its heart that is Garry Bettman and Bill Dayley, and further, to the executives that they shill for, and even further back to the time period, tenets, and culture that the sport was founded on. Remember, this is the same organization whose administrative and players (retired and current) repeatedly spit in the face of their teammates who've suffered chronic and debilitating injuries, and continue to mock journalists and veterans who try to bring those issues to the forefront, stating that the injury is worth it to win -- (or that the possibility of injury is worth it, considering these comments so often come from players that are still relatively hale).

Hmmm, sounds incredibly familiar to the position the NHL takes on another rampant issue in the sport: sexual assault.

There's a reason why the NHL is falling behind in popularity (and in value) compared to other sports organisations and it's because they cling to their archaic values and methods and flat-out refuse to let them go -- and thus attract players and administrative and fans who find all that entails appealing. It's not everyone in the sport obviously but it's a large enough faction to keep things stagnant -- just go take a look at Ian Kenedy's twitter page and start scrolling through the replies to his tweets if you want a taste of what we're up against here.

If you want to do anything, ANYTHING AT ALL to help improve the hockey culture, there are multiple avenues to explore that might actually make a difference --first of all getting involved in your community not just the internet community-- in chipping away at who this game attracts, how they see themselves, how they see others, how they see hockey players, and how those hockey players see themselves and others. Those avenues do not include dunking on wags. I get it, they all look the same, haha. it's weird, their children and husbands can't tell them apart, hahaha. There, I said it too and now I never have to hear that fucking joke again. Move ON.

I understand that the lines between reality and fiction can blur easily when it comes to rpf, but making actually, completely serious judgements on other people's private emotional lives and relationships is completely out of the realm of reality. You can't know, you can never know completely. It can be difficult enough to identify these things when it comes to a friend or a family member how are you possibly going to make a pronouncement that someone's relationship is stale or without intimacy or connection when literally have no idea who they really are? I've been stalked and I've had people write fanfiction about me and I can 100% say that what they gleamed of who I was and what my life was like from the outside did not run true.

Analyzing those aspects and their intersexuality is worthwhile -- if anyone has an actual interest in these topics I suggest reading: Wille O'ree's biography, Bern Saunder's biography, Fred Sasakamoose's Call Me Indian, Black Ice: The Lost History of the Colored Hockey League of the Maritimes by Darril and George Frosy, On Account of Darkness by Ian Kennedy, Why I didn't say anything by Sheldon Kennedy, Crossing The Line by Laura Robinson, Major Misconduct by Jeremy Allingham, Finding Murph by Rick Westhead -- There are more than that if you're willing to dig for them ... but especially after the back to back Kyle Beach and Hockey Cannada lawsuits I've just had it to up to here with the takes about the ~uwu poor hockey men~~ and their repressed homosexual longings and lack of overall male intimacy and companionship --- who do you think is doing said repressing?? THE HORRIBLE UWU MEN. (Said in exaggeration and jest but also not fucking really.) They are victims unto themselves. 99% refuse to speak up or do anything about the inequality, harassment, and overall intrinsic issues in the sport, the ones who bravely do are shunned by the others who refuse to help themselves or others. They don't see themselves as emotionally underdeveloped manchildren stranded on the frigid island of masculine solitude and arrested development. They like their lives, they don't care about what kind of impact that lifestyle has on other people (or on the environment or on the economy). They like their cookie-cutter world, conservative sandbox and comfortable wealthy liberalism... and most of all they like their hot blond skinny wives and they don't care what sort of social constructs have led to them pursuing a very specific type of woman. The vast majority of them have zero interest in having their eyes opened to a more complex and diverse worldview and it's not the fault of anyone but themselves, least of all the women who get pulled along in their wake.

[pynkhues]

feel free to ignore but if you’re willing to share a little bit more about how you see louis and lestat’s first encounter going in your courtesan au that would make my day !!!!

I'm still getting their first encounter right, anon, so I feel like I can't really talk about it yet, haha, but how would you like part of a scene I've actually written? It's a little bit of Louis first finding out about Lestat at all ;-)

-

“The Prince is bringing someone.”

At that, Louis arches an eyebrow, pulling his gaze from the pages in front of him to where Armand lingers just inside the closed doorway.

“Oh are we calling him Prince now?” Louis asks, and he can hear it. A dangerous note of disdain in his own voice, so he’s sure Armand hears it too, although the other man makes little acknowledgement of it beyond a tilt of his elegant head.

“If you are to climb the echelons of Parisian society, you really should be across these things,” Armand replies smoothly, finally crossing Louis’ cabinet to drop himself gracefully to the chaise lounge beneath the window, forcing Louis to turn in his seat to see him. Light spills across the other man’s form, illuminating his fine features in the quiet dark of the room where Louis works, and for a moment, it stirs something low in him. A heat, perhaps, an aimless, unfocused sort of desire, but more than that, an understanding of why the Duke has indulged in this particular courtesan for as long as he has. “The King re-anointed Magnus two days ago, so in answer to your question, yes, we are calling him Prince now. If it’s of any comfort to you, it’s in ceremony only, not in power. A decorative rank for a man who needs all the trimmings he can get.”

Louis hums, leaning back in his seat still facing Armand, feeling the engraved edge of the desk pressed to his side, even through the thick hold of his embroidered waistcoat.  

“And yet your Duke Marius would change the entertainment for the evening to appease him?”

He’d be lying if he said that Armand’s tight-lipped smile doesn’t give him a thrill – evidence enough that Louis’ correct in his deduction that the Duke’s pandering to the newly-retitled Prince is more than simply a welcome back to society. He has the King’s ear, Louis supposes, the fact that he’s been given back the stripped rank, even just in title, proves that, but to what extent the King means to allow Magnus sway in court is anyone’s guess now.

If Louis were to be honest, he almost respected the machinations of it all. As it were, Magnus had been pushed from his pedestal a generation ago, losing his place in line for the throne after his father had been knifed and his mother poisoned, a bloody coup that had seen a new monarchy atop the gilded throne of France. Divested of his title, Magnus had spent the long years of his youth in exile, where, Louis had no idea (and neither, it seemed, did anyone else), but he’d returned to cast his shadow in court in this late decade of his life. Gnarled and black eyed and ugly, yet silver tongued and somehow dripping with gold, and it was the latter that had the aristocrats of Paris opening their doors and – politically speaking, of course – their legs.

“My Duke Marius would simply like the evening’s plans to go off without the reveal of a seam,” Armand simpers from his draped position on Louis’ chaise. “Besides, at least the Prince is predictable unlike some of our esteemed society fixtures. Even in these last uncertain years of his position, he has always been particular in his choice of accessories, has he not?”

And, well.

Louis would be hard pressed to deny that.

“Always has liked himself a blue-eyed blond,” he allows, because he’s ended up with some of them on his books over the last five years. Not all have gone the distance – one at least he knows worked only to earn enough to flee Paris with one of the Queen’s ladies in waiting – but he still has two in his employ. Wild-eyed things, the pair of them, one a meek little waif prone to playing dead – which, Louis can say with authority, works for a certain clientele – another a spitfire in the sack who’s only request of Louis is that he never be in the same room again as Magnus, a stipulation Louis has and will continue to honor.   

Now though, Armand just hums in agreement.

“How he finds himself so many little golden trinkets in all the mud and piss of Paris is the true mystery of the man,” he says, picking at a loose thread on the chaise behind him. “The Duke would have you remove the boys from the evening’s festivities though.”

Which is to be expected, Louis thinks, turning in his chair back to his desk to pull at the books he’d written the Duke’s request for the salon in, flicking through the pages for the carefully scrawled list of girls and boys he’d wanted to entertain his guests in. When Magnus presents a new pet to the aristocrats he seeks to dominate and impress in equal measure, he wants all eyes on his most recent selection. As if the discovery of beauty makes up for the lack of his own, and the claiming of it so publicly cements him in society more as the Prince than any re-titling by the King of France ever could.

Dipping his quill in his little pot of iron gall ink, Louis draws a clean line through the names of the three boys he’d organised for Marius – not a blond in the bunch, and to Louis at least, three he’d found personally more appealing than any boy Magnus had ever brought to court, although he could admit that that could be more a reflection of his own sort of inclinations than anything else – before letting his gaze dip back to Armand on the chaise behind him.

The other man remains sprawled, legs delicately parted and looking resplendent in a deep brown waistcoat with elegant white lace trimmings. The morning light shifts through the window behind him, illuminating the amber flecks to his eyes, the warmth to his skin, and the jut of his high, sharp cheekbones. A familiar pull of heat pools low in him again, and Louis wets his lips.

“If your Duke is playing host to the Prince and his pet tonight, will you be needing company of your own?”

The question is enough to have Armand’s gaze darken, his fingers drifting languidly down the back of the chaise lounge, deepening his recline. They don’t do this often, not really, as Louis has never needed nor wanted to pay to fuck, and Armand is often reluctant to risk the opulence of the life that the prize between his legs has secured him (although Marius has never seemed bothered about sharing him), but still. They have warmed each other’s beds on the night the fancy has taken them, and if Louis is to spend the evening overseeing his girls be fondled by bejeweled hands while the Prince parades a boy he’ll dispose of in a week, he may as well have something to slip away to.

“I could be,” Armand says now, sitting up a little straighter, as if remembering himself. “My duties have not yet been decided. We are all at the King’s whims, I fear, even my Maître, and tonight the King wishes for his new Prince to have everything that he wants.”  

-

(And then Louis and Lestat become psychosexually obsessed with each other 💖)

[tysonfurybattlepass]

What kinds of martial arts/fighting do you do? I've always been interested in stuff like that but I'm really short and petite. It doesn't seem possible for me to do.

haha, you’ve come to the right place. i’m 5’3 (160cm) and at my highest ever weight right now, a whopping 115lb (about 52kg). ive been training for over a decade now and competing/teaching almost as long so I’m Your Guy lol

i started with brazilian jiujitsu when i was thirteen. i thought it would be fun and i wanted to strengthen my heart and lungs, as i was a frail victorian waif with pots and asthma. started with once a week, fell in love, and soon was clocking in an hour or two five days a week. i exclusively trained and competed in bjj for 3-4years before i decided i was done being bad at standup fighting so i added in muay thai. fell in love with that too. competed in a couple national tournaments and took third and second. post-covid, hopped into boxing. my most impressive achievements are on that stage imo, having taken gold and silver in two regional tournaments last year (gold/silver match was against the same opponent both times! so i guess that makes us even…) just recently started seriously building my standing-grappling game (which is still weak rip) by adding in freestyle wrestling and judo. i train and spar mma regularly, but have not competed under that ruleset.

so to answer your question: i do a little bit of everything.

some advice from a small but determined combat athlete:

1. being smaller than your training partners and opponents is frustrating. it is disheartening. people will get away with doing shit that is objectively bad and wrong on you because they can brute force it. it’s not because you aren’t good enough. there are also ways to mitigate this:

2. as a small person, your assets will be precise technique, accurate timing, agility, and endurance. because you are small, you will naturally be more technically competent. if you do something wrong against someone bigger than you, it simply won’t work. thus, you will have more incentive to do it right! once you build up to a consistent training schedule, you will have better movement and endurance than a bigger person because you simply have less weight to move. ergo, moving yourself is an easier task. use this to your advantage. wether the storm until big boy gets tired and then tool him around👍

3. this applies to exercise in general and i cannot stress it enough: do not go hard at first. do not jump into the deep end. start out with two classes a week. ideally 45min-1hr classes, on different days, with at least one rest day in between. your body needs time to adapt to new workloads, or else you’ll just be hurt and sore and burned out. do that until it feels easy! then bump it to four days a week, which is when you’ll start to see real technical progress.

4. establish your goals for training before you commit to anything! are you looking for fitness? competition? self-defense? or are you just trying to have fun? each sport offers different benefits and potential drawbacks. i’d be happy to elaborate more on that if you wish. feel free to ask about whatever you’re interested in and i can recommend what to look for :3

combat sports is half my personality and the entirety of my irl social life nowadays. 10/10 would do again despite mild ouchie and being tired a lot